


mouth full of toothpaste

by lixwoof



Category: You (TV 2018)
Genre: (kinda), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Compliant, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Love Confessions, M/M, Moving In Together, Past Joe Goldberg/Love Quinn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-18 22:56:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22634617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lixwoof/pseuds/lixwoof
Summary: Joe was friends with Delilah and Ellie, with Love. But with Forty, it was always more. It was a push and pull kind of thing. Joe could see the way Forty looked at him over the book displays as he’s placed the vegan philanthropist novels one by one onto the table, that same promiscuous glint in his glassy, hooded eyes that lured him in bit by bit. The way Forty’s hand lingers on his shoulder when he tells Joe he’s taking a banana from the produce section and he’ll put money in the register later.Joe is going insane.-Or, how Forty and Joe get together, and a look into their relationship in the future.
Relationships: Joe Goldberg/Forty Quinn
Comments: 8
Kudos: 107





	mouth full of toothpaste

**Author's Note:**

> This started about a month ago, and I wrote about half, and only got the urge to finish it a few nights ago. Here it is. Still unhappy, but I like the majority of it. This is unbetaed, so, fuck it. Enjoy!
> 
> As always, my instagram is @nyhilo if you wanna chat about Joe and Forty.
> 
> Title from Sunflower Vol.6 by Harry Styles. Alternatively titled "kiss in the kitchen like it's a dancefloor (i couldn't want you any more tonight)".

Joe feels Forty’s eyes on him every single time that he walks into Anavrin.

It’s been like this ever since it happened. It’s not like when Joe moved to LA to start a new life he expected to get a boyfriend, it just sorta.. happened. He had his eyes set on Love, but in his heart he knew it was better that they were just friends, and he relied on her to be his friend. Los Angeles is a big place, and Joe being himself, has a hard time meeting new people. Forty, however, was different.

After everything that happened with Candace, Forty was the one to accept him as his real self first, accepting him for who he was. Of course, Love didn’t trust him. Because, why would she? After Candace broke into his apartment and Love found him- After Candace explained everything that ‘happened’, after everything that happened to him. Joe knew that getting Love to trust him after all that would take a while. And even if he explained how Candace was the reason he left New York, how she was obsessed with him. Candace destroyed everything about friendships and relationships that Joe knew, and he moved to Los Angeles to try and rebuild his life. Even if he and Beck had only gone out on one date, Love took a while to come around to the truth, but when she did, it felt good to have a friend again. Joe faked his identity because he wanted to be safe. But when Forty approached him, calling him one of the most real people he’s ever known, Joe knew he was the one. 

Love trusted him eventually. And they were back to the way it was before. 

Joe was friends with Delilah and Ellie, with Love. But with Forty, it was always more. It was a push and pull kind of thing. Joe could see the way Forty looked at him over the book displays as he’s placed the vegan philanthropist novels one by one onto the table, that same promiscuous glint in his glassy, hooded eyes that lured him in bit by bit. The way Forty’s hand lingers on his shoulder when he tells Joe he’s taking a banana from the produce section and he’ll put money in the register later.

Joe is going insane.

It’s like they’re avoiding talking about what they have, even while Joe helps Forty with the script of the movie, even when they see eachother every single day at work. Even if he barely knew Beck, he wants to give his advice with the movie. They’re in the back of Anavrin in the store room while Love is in the kitchen behind the counter baking some of the treats they’d put on display the next day. Joe is sat on top of some boxes of books they’d gotten in just that morning, and Forty is on the floor leaning against a pallet while his laptop is in front of him. 

Forty is typing away at the document, and he thinks they’re about halfway done with the script, wanting to finish just one more scene before Joe goes back to work from his break. Joe watches him close, eyes running over Forty’s face as it contorts into thought. Joe’s inner dialogue is running crazy. When he’s with Forty, he’s almost always overanalyzing everything that happens.

_You look really cute today. Fuck, is that weird to say about a guy? I always call girls cute, but is it weird to call a guy cute? Should I say you look handsome? Whatever. Those pants make your thighs look really… something. Definitely not unflattering._

Joe swallows the saliva pooling in his mouth as he thinks back to the time that Forty explained why he felt uncomfortable with his thighs. Joe knows he plays a lot of tennis, and if he plays it as much as Joe assumes he does..

The thought makes Joe’s face warm, and he can feel his heart pounding just slightly harder in his chest. He knows it’s not good to stare, but when Forty wears dark skinny jeans that stick to the curve of his lower half just right, he can’t not stare. He has a white t-shirt on, underneath a jean jacket and a couple of necklaces hanging around his neck. If Forty wasn’t sitting, he’d grab him by the necklaces and kiss him senseless. But they’re at work, and Forty’s his boss, and even if Joe’s taking a break now, he’s still at work.

He’s snapped out of his daydream when Forty groans. He runs his hands over his face and stares at the computer screen. 

“This is like, so trash.” Forty stands, quickly shoving the laptop over to Joe so that he can read what he’s written. Joe’s eyes skim over the words on the screen as Forty paces back and forth and does that thing with his thumb that he does when he’s nervous. Joe watches him in his peripheral vision. Forty starts mumbling under his breath, shaking his head and frowning. 

Placing the laptop to the side, Joe steadies Forty. A hand on each shoulder. Forty stops in his tracks, seemingly afraid to make eye contact, but once he realizes that Joe isn’t going to say any ruthless critiques, his expression softens and he looks Joe straight in the eye. 

“Forty. Listen to me when I say that nothing you ever write is trash.” Joe starts, and he can see the edges of Forty’s mouth just threaten to turn up into a smile. “When I said that you have a bright future, I meant it. Why else would I be here helping you write this? It isn’t wrong to need to ask for help. I want you to have this. Love wants you to have this. You deserve this movie and you deserve happiness. Whatever form that happiness comes in. After what happened with Candace, I don’t expect your happiness to be love. What I’m trying to say is.. I’m here for you because you deserve this.” 

“It’s not trash. Never will be, okay?”

The look on Forty’s face is something he’s never seen in his life. He looks like he’s about to break out into tears, but also like this is the best moment of his life. Joe doesn't know when one of his hands moved up to hold Forty’s face, or why Forty’s leaning into his touch, but they’ve never been this close before. Except for when Forty hugs him. This is different. They’ve never been this close in this context. Forty’s eyes flick between his lips and his eyes. Just a quick shift that Joe never thought he’d notice. 

_Are you gay? No. You dated Candace. Kissed her infront of me. Called her baby and had your hand around her waist while she wore that pretty striped romper. Of course you liked her. There’s no way you like me. You’ve never talked about guys that way. You must just be an ally, right? You’re so chaotically straight that you brag about supporting LGBT people whenever you can._

They’ve moved closer. Of course they have. Joe can see the specks of brown and green and gold in Forty’s eyes, individually wound together to create quite possibly the prettiest irises he’s ever seen. This man was perfect. Everything about him was perfect.

And of course, Forty feels the exact same way about Joe. The only thing that was different was the fact that his infatuation started from the very first time that Joe walked into Anavrin. Forty knew Joe was new. His apron was crisp and barely even worn in. His name tag, reading Will B., the way the light pouring in through the windows fell over his face and framed it perfectly. Those cheekbones, the light stubble growing as if he’d shaved recently but couldn’t bother doing it again. How soft his hair looked. Forty would describe his sexuality as 80/20. He’s always been attracted to men, but just found himself liking more girls. But when he met Joe, everything changed. He would be thinking about boys for the next few months. Thinking of Joe and Joe only. And then they started to get closer, and Forty’s crush just grew even more. 

Oh, if only Forty knew. 

They’re still silent. Their minds are running wild, but the only audible thing is the chatter of the patrons wandering about the store. 

And then Forty just gives an internal ‘fuck it’ and closes the distance between them. Which at that point, wasn’t even very far anymore. Forty’s beard scratches against Joe’s face as their lips pressed together. For Joe, it was the most chaste first kiss he’s ever had. With all his other girlfriends, Karen included, all their kisses have been lust fueled and wanting. But this? This was oh so different. Joe kisses back after he takes in that oh shit, this is really happening. They’re still in Love’s line of sight, as they’re near the door to the kitchen. It’s like Forty reads his mind, because he pulls Joe away from the boxes and behind a shelf. Joe’s breaths are hot and heavy as Forty lets him press him against the wall. 

They’re both very sober and very aware of what’s going on. But when Joe runs his hands down Forty’s shoulders and pulls off his jacket, Forty knew this wouldn’t be a one time thing.

The whole ‘chaste’ bit? Yeah, that was over. They went at it until they couldn’t breathe anymore, and that was how Joe found out that Forty was damn vocal. Even as Joe pulled away so that the two of them could breathe, he starts kissing down Forty’s jaw, knowing that it’d be wrong to go this far in the back of their workplace. But he wanted to. And the way that Forty’s hand crept under his shirt little by little told Joe that he wanted to, too. Forty lets out a soft sigh and cranes his head slightly as Joe starts to mark him up. They’ve been in the back room for a suspiciously long time, now. Joe’s break time is probably far over finished and he needs to get back to work. But somehow, giving Forty hickies in the store room is way more important than getting paid. 

“Joe..” Forty starts, patting his shoulder. Joe pulls away, scared he’s done something wrong. Forty’s expression changes as soon as he sees Joe’s worries, still ghosting his fingers on the skin of Joe’s midriff under his shirt. There’s at least four (noticeable) hickies, and he knows for sure that Love’ll ask about them later that day. “Hey. Don’t worry, old sport. You should get back to work.” And apparently, that made Joe look like a sad puppy, because Forty let out a pitiful laugh. 

He bites his lip for a second, looking up at Joe with big, expectant eyes. “I’ll come home with you, okay? We can talk about.. whatever this is.” Forty settles on discussing it later, pressing a peck to Joe’s lips and beginning to leave. Just before he turns the corner, he shoots Joe a wink and smiles at Love as he enters the kitchen. She doesn’t look up from what she’s working on, but gives him a little wave.

Joe is so, totally, utterly fucked.

-

It’s 8 pm. Calvin’s on closing shift and Joe’s in the locker room putting away his apron. He grabs everything he needs from his locker. Phone, keys, wallet, check. He hasn’t seen Forty since earlier, but it’s not expected he’d stay in Anavrin the entire day. 

As Joe’s just about to close his locker, a pair of arms snake around his waist. A smile slowly emerges on his face as he feels Forty lean into his back. Joe’s still wary about PDA. It’s not like they’d get shunned or anything, it’s just that it’d be a shock to everyone who works at Anavrin. 

“Ready to go?” Forty breaks the silence first, letting out a huff as he stares at Joe from behind. Joe closes up his locker and makes sure it’s locked, pocketing all the items he took out. 

“Yeah. Um, are we--?”

“Back to yours?” Forty interrupted as he steps away, hands still hovering over his waist. Joe nods with a hum and starts walking to the front entrance. Forty isn’t far behind, trailing Joe like he’s impatient. Which is fair. Joe is too. Joe waves to Love, who usually stays after hours to get in some baking for the next day’s stock. She looks up as she hears them enter the kitchen, giving Joe a grin and then glances to Forty. Her expression changes immediately as she surveys him, and Forty knows exactly why she’s pausing. 

Forty’s face flushes and he’s scurrying out of the kitchen before Love can ask any questions. He hears a ‘Hey, wait-’ come from the kitchen as he makes a beeline for the door. Joe turns back to Love and shrugs, speeding up a bit to catch up to Forty. They meet up again just outside Anavrin. Forty knows from experience that Joe doesn’t live too far away, from when they went to Henderson’s party and Forty had to stay at Joe’s apartment. Love ended up going home early that night, but Joe could barely sleep because fuck, the guy he liked was right there. 

Conversations were short and awkward, but Joe expected that. Their hands brush together exactly twice while they’re walking, and Forty can’t take it anymore. He takes Joe’s hand in his own, lacing their fingers together as they’re walking down the street to Joe’s apartment complex. Forty doesn't notice the fact that Joe’s practically grinning ear to ear all the way up the stairs, because he’s too busy trailing behind Joe, holding his hand and smiling at the ground. They’re lucky enough that Delilah or Ellie wasn’t out and about in the courtyard, because Joe would never have heard the end of it from Ellie if she saw. 

As they’re at the door, and Joe is fumbling with his keys because he’s so damn nervous, Forty is standing behind him practically shaking. Joe can tell he’s worried, but for what reason?

 _You are.. everything, Forty. There should be no reason why you’re worried. There’s that twitch in your lip and you’re switching your weight from foot to foot. You’re not pacing, but not far from it either._

Joe’s tangent in his thoughts ends as he unlocks the door and pushes it open. 

“Make yourself at home. If you need anything, let me know.” Joe nearly chokes on his words, swallowing down the spit that’d collected in his mouth from the nerves. Forty sets his stuff down to the right of the door, where Joe keeps his shoes. You’re skittish, Joe thinks, taking a seat on his couch to the right of the door. There’s no reason to be scared of me. I like you too. I want you to be safe. I want… us to be safe.

Forty sits beside Joe. He lets out a shaky breath, before trying to speak at the same time that Joe does.

“So, I-”

“Forty-”

“You go first-”

“No, you.”

Forty mentally prepares himself for what he’s about to say. He’s always been one to express himself, but somehow, telling Joe he likes him is harder than anything he’s done up until this point. 

“There’s a lot of really confusing things in my life. Like writing my movie, etcetera. But the one thing I thought that wasn’t confusing was you, and my sister. I always had a feeling the two of you would be together. I never- and when I say never I mean never wanted to come between you two. This is the first time I’ve seen Love so happy since James passed. But now.. this happened.” Forty gestured between them, and Joe understands what he means. Joe nods. “And I don’t know if it’s okay to like you as much as I do. Because I want Love to be happy, because she very obviously likes you and I’m scared that the fact that you like me too is going to ruin me and my sister’s relationship. And If I lose her, I’m eventually going to lose you.. and I can’t have that.”

Forty’s on the verge of tears now, and Joe wants to just lean over and pull him into a kiss, but it really wouldn’t be the right time. So he does something he knows that helps Forty calm down from experience. Joe scoots closer to him and hugs Forty close, and Forty immediately melts into his touch. He gets comfortable against Joe, leaning his head against his shoulder as Joe cards his fingers through his hair. 

“You’re right. I do like you. A lot, actually.” He hears Forty audibly get more relaxed. “I’m sure Love would be okay. All she wants is the best for you. She loves you, and if I’m the one who makes you happy, she better be okay with that.” Joe feels Forty nod against his shoulder, sniffling softly and picks his head up off of Joe’s shoulder. 

“You’re my guardian angel, I hope you know that.” Forty’s voice comes meekly as he wipes at his eyes harshly on the sleeve of his jean jacket and finally looks up to face Joe with those big, watery soulful eyes that Joe loves.

_Wait, love? Okay. Stop right there. Too far._

“Well, I was hoping I was your boyfriend, but guardian angel will have to do.” Joe says, and he doesn't even realize how damn smooth that was until Forty lets out a giggle and hits him lightly on the chest. 

“Shit, old sport, saved some leftover pickup lines from my sister to use on me, huh?” Joe didn't notice he was smiling, but at this point, it was only growing larger as they kept up their playful banter. Joe gave a small laugh, but noticed that Forty had calmed down and was giving him a serious look. 

“I do. Want you to be my boyfriend. But I don’t want that to impair you and Love’s friendship.” Joe purses his lips and thinks about Forty’s fear, eyes darting around the room. 

“Come here.” Joe mutters, guiding Forty to sit on his lap. Forty’s already starting to smile as he lets his thighs bracket Joe’s, hands on his shoulders and Joe’s hands on his thighs. This would seem sexual to anyone else seeing them in this position, but to Joe, this was a more tender moment than hand holding or spooning in bed. “You’ll always have me, no matter what. I’d rather have you, than Love. Her friendship is important, yeah, but I’d rather have my boyfriend than his sister.”

Forty’s eyes trail over Joe’s face, and he has a dazed expression, which soon turns into a smile as he mutters an ‘okay’ and slowly leans in to kiss Joe. Joe returns his smile just as they touch, his hands moving up to Forty’s waist and under his jacket. Forty gets the message and shuffles off his jacket til it audibly hits the floor, hands then immediately going to hold Joe’s face and tilt his head to the side to deepen the kiss. 

He knew from before that Forty got mouthy when he kissed, and by no means was that a problem in Joe’s eyes, but was certainly different from the soft press of Love’s satin lips. He could see what separated them as twins. Love was like the angel on his shoulder, always making him good food and leading him towards good intentions. Whereas Forty was the devil. And again, not a bad thing. He needed a change from all the angelic women in his life. Karen. Beck. All perfectly imperfect. Candace was an exception, as she was worse than either good or bad in his eyes. Forty was there for him in the same way love was, but made his life genuinely fun. Love was always schedules and rules, and Forty made him feel free and weightless. 

But there had to be balance, didn’t there? There’s a twinge in his heart when he realizes they’re going to have to hide this from Love for a while. Joe is picking up Forty and holding him just under his ass, Forty’s legs curling around his waist as he feels his way to the bedroom. He sets Forty down and quickly crosses the bed to shut the curtains. Joe mind goes on autopilot, like it always does when he’s about to fuck someone. The room gets hot without any windows open and Forty’s gasps are purely intoxicating, and he feels like he shouldn’t be seeing this despite being the one making Forty writhe against the sheets. Joe’s skin is sweaty and he feels disgusting otherwise, but this might just be the best sex he’s ever had.

-

Joe was wrong. Only half wrong, but still. Routine still came with Forty, but it was wholly better than with Love. He’d wake early due to him facing the curtains, and the sun reflecting straight into his face. Forty would be tucked into his chest, dead to the world and sleeping with a smile on his face. It was small, but of course Joe noticed it. Forty had grown into a habit of stealing Joe’s plain t-shirts, which are almost Forty’s size but still a little too big. He wore them to sleep mostly, but sometimes to work just to see Joe’s reaction. 

He’d take a shower most mornings, and what was once occupied by a bar of soap, shampoo, and some toothpaste became home for all of Forty’s expensive skincare items. Hell, he even had to get Delilah’s permission to put up a shelf adjacent to the sink. They don’t shower together, simply because the shower is too small, and Forty complains that ‘an empty shower is his temple’. Joe can admit he does spend two nights a week with some type of face mask on, Forty at the other end of the couch with his feet propped up on Joe’s lap with a matching mask, and their new favourite show on the TV across from them. For the first time since he moved to LA, routine felt better than being spontaneous. 

But they still did things outside their routine. They went on dates, like a regular couple. Went shopping, bought eachother gifts whenever they felt like being generous, etcetera. Yet the one thing that didn’t change, was them being cautious at work. 

Even if they told Love, who was hesitant to be happy for them at best. She still looks at Joe with regret whenever they talk, but it seems like they’re okay. Joe sees the way Love stares at them whenever they're together, like she’s pretending that everything’s okay and ignoring the way that Joe makes her feel. When Joe and her are alone, she acts how she always does, bright eyed and witty. But when Forty and Joe are behind the register, chatting idly about something and Joe’s arm is around Forty’s waist, Joe sometimes glances back to the kitchen and sees her staring. He can’t help but feel bad. Forty seems to not see how Love’s reacting, but maybe it’s better that he doesn't.

Everyone else’s reaction was good, and in Joe’s opinion, Delilah’s was the best. Straight up just asked Forty if he was going to start paying rent.

Life is good. Life is okay. And even Forty’s been sober for months at this point. Drugs, not alcohol, because they often open a bottle of wine and sit on the couch with glasses in hand and kiss in between sips. Joe feels sane, now, and the thought of Candace is in the back of his head. All he can focus on is Forty. 

They’re going on seven months when he realizes that he wants to be with Forty forever. The summer heat is buzzing and they’re underneath a thin comforter, legs intertwined and Forty’s head in the crook of his neck. The windows adjacent to their bed are opened wide, and the curtains are parted fully, letting in a breeze that occasionally sends a chill down Joe’s spine. Forty is dozing off, and Joe knows by now he falls asleep easily. His hand is idly playing with the short tufts of hair on the nape of Forty’s neck, and Forty’s arm tightens around his waist whenever he wakes up momentarily. Joe can't sleep, and for some reason, it’s plaguing him. He thinks it’s because his mind is running wild, and the cause of it is sleeping soundly beside him. 

He wants to lock it down forever. Have Forty in his arms for infinity and beyond, hold eachother like they’ll never see eachother again. Forty makes Joe feel safe. He makes Joe feel like he has a home, like he has a place in the world. Whenever Forty posts a picture of him on Instagram, Joe falls for him all over again, heart pounding in his chest. The tiniest things about Forty get him going. 

The beard clippings in the sink that Forty forgot to wash down when Joe gets up to get a cup of water. The way Forty idly complains about his looks in the mirror after they wake up, when all Joe can see is the closest form of perfection he’s ever seen. The birthmark on his lower back. How he always burns pancakes. Fuck, he’s so in love. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Joe blinks quickly, breaking his trance from the ceiling to look at his boyfriend, who was very much awake at this point. Were Joe’s thoughts too loud, echoing enough around the room until they woke Forty up? 

“It’s nothing.” Joe starts, and Forty yawned and propped himself up on his elbow to face Joe better. 

“We’ve been together long enough for me to know it’s not nothing.” Forty presses, eyes glassy with sleep and voice croaking. Mind-reading boyfriends were a gift and curse at the same time, he thought. 

“I don’t know. Just.. about you, I guess?” Forty’s face softens, and he lays back down. 

“I think about you a lot too. It isn't weird. It will never be weird.” Forty says, arm tightening around Joe’s waist as Joe hums in approval. 

“I know. My life just changed for the better when we started dating. I don't think I ever want anyone else.” Joe mutters, and he feels his face flush as Forty presses kisses to his skin, feather light and appreciative. Forty’s hand moved up and runs over Joe’s chest as he speaks, an unspoken way to tell Joe that he's listening. 

“Your heart’s going crazy.” Forty simply states, and Joe lets out a laboured chuckle. 

“I don’t think it ever won’t. With you.” He sends back, and Forty’s eyes close as he relaxes. 

“That’s cute. You have a crush on me.” Forty responds, nudging his nose into the side of Joe’s neck. 

A few seconds pass, and Joe listens to the whir of the AC while Forty has his hand over Joe’s heart. 

“I love you.” comes Forty’s voice, quiet and toned to a way Joe would know he wasn’t joking. 

“I know,” Joe starts. “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you'd want a little epilogue kinda thing. No idea what it'd be about, but if you have any ideas, let me know.
> 
> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> Kudos and comments are an author's best friend.


End file.
